Showing posts with label Class 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Class 2. Show all posts

Monday, May 25, 2009

Kwashon Blumenthal, 28

God, he hated being sick. Feverish, unable to swallow, wracked with chills and breaking out in unwelcome sweats. The bed suddenly was too soft; no position allowed him to lie in comfort. His sheets and pillow were perpetually damp, and he was too listless and miserable to focus on reading or even watching television. Just the endless hours passing him by, dragging slowly like codeine addicted mules through wading pools of peanut butter.

And on Memorial Day weekend no less! No justice in the world. He'd had to cancel the night out on Saturday with friends. The expected drinks, the pleasure of catching up with people he'd not seen in over a month. Had to then cancel his date on Sunday night, the third and supreme date where things were supposed to go to the next level with Rodnesha. Had to bow out of the bbq on Monday. 

Really, what was the point in living? He couldn't even swallow his own spit. Hurt to much, like a white hot nail had been driven into the left side of his throat. Instead, he had spit every fifteen minutes into a cup he kept by the bedside. Disgusting.

Through his open door he heard moans downstairs. Ha. His friends had shown up in sympathy. Kwashon wrestled with the petulant desire to remain sullen and the sudden upswing that their concern evinced. And, ontop of coming by, they were mimicking a zombie attack. Kwashon smiled, and closed his eyes. His friends were brilliant.

They made their way up the stairs, groaning, moaning, dragging their feet. "Oh God," said Kwashon sarcastically, "A zombie attack. What on earth am I going to do?"

The moans paused for a moment and then grew louder. Kwashon laughed, scooted up so that he was sitting against the headboard. His friends gained the landing. Shuffled over to his door.

"Man, you guys--" began Kwashon, and then stopped. The make up on the guy who came through his door was so good he couldn't tell which friend it was. Bulky, wearing some sort of blue mechanic's uniform, face all chewed up. "God," said Kwashon, recoiling. "That's nasty, yo. You guys went all out, eh?"

The man was followed by a skinny looking girl, but Kwashon didn't have time to look at her. With shufftling steps the man crossed the bedroom, stepping on his open laptop, knocking over a pile of magazines. 

"Hey," said Kwashon, suddenly annoyed. And then the man was on him, stinking of rotting meat, big, callused hands scrabbling at him as the simply fell onto him and buried his face into his neck. "Hey!" yelled Kwashon as more people in makeup entered the room. "Time out, yo, time out!"

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Robert Enwalis, 39

He was a hoary old bastard, was Enwalis. Half pickled by a life time of boozing, made hard by too much sun and heavy lifting. Yard work, dock work, factory work. The kind of lean, leathery muscle that can take a swing from an iron pipe and ellicit little more than a grunt. Square jaw sandpapered with salt and pepper stubble, knuckles split from too many bar fights. Sour sweat smell, strong teeth run to yellow. Part junk yard dog, part rusted machine parts, with some tree roots and rock thrown in for good measure. 

Once, back in Cuba, he'd gone 37 rounds with El Gordo, bare knuckle fighting and drinking raw rum between rounds. Had lasted almost three hours. By the time he'd dropped the world was but a spinning deluge of crimson, smeared yellow lights and slurred screams. He'd lost the fight, but had been walking again in two days. El Gordo, the nominal winner, had remained bed ridden for the rest of his sordid life.

Nothing had ever come easy to him. Nothing had ever stayed for long in his hands. In his bed, in his bank account. Homeless now some two years, he'd thought the world had gone to hell a long time ago. 

Turns out he'd been wrong. 

Placing his hands on the small of his back, he leaned backways and heard bones pop. He grimaced. He hated mornings. No fit time for hard work. Reached down and took up a pipe wrench as heavy as sin and long as his forearm. Hefted it. 

The fucker's were come down the alley toward him. They'd killed his old dog three days ago. He'd been ducking them and running for near to three weeks. Enough. Time to step up and bat.

The first was a a young woman. Curvy, her slack, rotted face still holding hits of beauty. In the bone structure, he mused, as she shambled toward him. Good cheekbones. Stepping forward, he shifted his weight smoothly from right to left foot, put his hip and back into the blow, and ruined her cheekbones for good.

Down she went. That kind of blow kept them down. The second was an old lady, her hair plastered around her porcelain skull, her wrinkled face sagging almost off her skull. She went down easy, the force of the blow sending her stumbling to the left. A fat Japanese kid in a basketball jersey took a hammer blow right on the summit of his skull, and smacked down to his knees.

Enwalis hopped back a few steps, took a sip from his flask. There was another fifty or so of them coming. Spaced out some, but it would get intense pretty soon. The alley opened up behind him, beckoning, promising escape.

Fuck it. 

Wrench in hand, he stepped back into the fray. He'd gone three hours with El Gordo. Sure he'd been younger than. But these freaks didn't compare to that mighty Cuban, God curse his fat slarding ass.

A slender man with a ridiculous moustache and a brown suit stumbled over the Japanese kid, righted and took the wrench to the face. Lost his jaw. Second blow crumpled his brain pan in. A seven year old kid took the wrench in a swing upper cut that lifted him off his feet and sent him sprawling back into the crowd. Enwalis switched the wrench to his other hand, shook out his fingers. 

The moans were everywhere. Still, he'd fucked some whores who had sounded even more bored. This wasn't so bad.

Skinny black man. Mexican dude in Lederhosen. Woman with her face torn off in beige buisiness suit. Police officer, almost six foot five, big as a linebacker. A pregnant woman, dragging a mess between her legs. A girl so skinny she had probably looked more dead than she did now. Crunch. Swing. Crunch. Down onto one knee. Crunch. Eye spouting out. Crunch, slammed into the wall. Steadily backing up. Swinging his arm to loosen the shoulder, warming up now. 

A moan from behind. Enwalis swung around without thinking, wrench cutting through the air to cave in an old man's chest. Double sided now. Enwalis looked up, gauging. Must be almost nine in the morning. He brought the wrench, slick with hair and jellied blood into the old man's face,  ended his moaning. More around him, tripping and climbing over the felled bodies. No way out.

But then, there never really had been. You can't pick what cards are dealt to you, thought Enwalis, taking a final swig of whiskey from his flask before throwing it in a fat woman's face. All you can do is decide whether you die swinging or clawed down from behind as you ran.

Three more dropped before one latched onto his left arm, teeth digging in. By the time he had knocked it off another had enveloped him in a hug, dug its teeth into the muscle of his neck. Most men might have gone down at that point. Not Enwalis. With a roar, he shook off the zombie like a bear might a drunken squirrel, and kept on swinging.

Crunch. Fall. Crunch. Fall. The ground slick beneath his feet. Breath heaving in his chest, superheated, rasping. Vision blurring. Turning and turning, bringing his wrench down, swinging even when he could no longer make out their faces.

Their moans changed. Became roars in his head, joined the rushing thrum in his ears to become old cries, old screams and encouragement. The lights were blurred, he could barely stand. Wiping his forearm across his face, clearing his eyes of sweat and blood, he grinned at his towering opponent. A mountain of a man. Pain was everywhere. Teeth slicked with blood, he laughed. A second chance to win that fight. With a final roar, Enwalis surged forward, and brought his wrench screaming around, and before the world went dark, before he lost track of it all, he saw El Gordo go down, and felt the sweet, sweet rush of a dark and thrilling victory.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Everett, 20

Fucking Bill. Living in fucking Bay Ridge. Fucking Brooklyn. If I had a car, this would be a fifteen minute drive. Or a jet pack. But, NOOOOOO, I have to take the E from Queens to the R through fucking Manhattan into goddamn Brooklyn.
One hour and twenty five minutes. This trip is, according to Hop Stop, going to take me one hour and twenty five goddamn minutes. Fuck me. Fucking Brooklyn.
And then there's the delays. The we're-the-MTA-and-we-have-a-surplus-oops-did-I-say-surplus-because-I-meant-deficit-and-we're-going-to-raise-the-fare-and-reduce-service-and-none-of-you-sweaty-balls-commuters-can-do-a-fucking-thing-about-it-because-you-don't-own-a-car delays. But at least the air conditioning doesn't work. I'd hate to not be able to smell that inside-of-a-pimple smell that homeless guy's got going on.
And the TEASE of that one E stop. On the new E that talks to you and smells nice and is icy cool. Then? Welcome to the R. Which stands for "Rigid Cock That Fucks You In The Ass". One stop on the E and then fifteen thousand stops on the R. The sweaty R starring the Funky Ass Hobo.
Naw, that's waaay too kind....
First off, "funky" might be misinterpreted to mean "eclectic" as if it might pertain to his taste in clothes or music or something. And "hobo" makes me think of guys with perfectly manicured five o'clock shadow, a cigar and a bindle.
This is a stank ass homeless guy.
Stank ass like a bag of jizz soaked socks.
OLD jizz soaked socks.
Usually you get used to smells 'cuz your nosebuds die or whatever, but these fucking nosebuds JUST AIN'T DYING. "R Train of the Living Nosebuds!" starring Everett Mills as the Funk-Assaulted Hero. God, it's fucking PALPABLE.
Shit, you'd think the mass of people between him and me would somewhat mask his funk but it's like it's moving through them to get to me. Like they are a CONDUIT OF STINK. Christ. This fucker smells like scab and anus pie. And he looks fucking dead...
Oh shit. Oh fucking gross! That shit on the news! Oh groooss! What if that motherfucker's sick with it?! Shit, what did they say about it? Something about close physical contact should be avoided...HA! Oh shoot, and I was going to blow this guy. God. Well, no one else seems to give a shit, so, fuck it, I guess.
Oh wait...no, he's not dead, I can see him twitching in his sleep. Well thank God. That would have caused EVEN MORE delays. Some Good Samaritan Fuckhole who was planning on getting off at the next stop would be happy as a pig in shit to yank that red cord, stop the train and let us sit here in the hobo-smelling stillness and just...grooooove. Asshole. Imaginary asshole.
Oh balls.
And speaking of delays...
Hm. Okay, I think what the conductor just said was "Luhguhm ben hed by dapata. Pees aktif hed. Pees sto com an pash wil bo go shurly". Which either means "prepare to sit quietly in a sweltering, stank-ass, non-moving subterranean tube for a shitass long time while I punch myself in the dick" or "whip 'em out gents, a toothless old whore will be by any moment to get your drink orders and flog your dolphins".
Ugh.
He isn't just twitching anymore...he...OH MY FUCKING AUNT! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO EAT FOR YOUR PUKE TO BE THAT COLOR? JESUS! IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKING SHOE POLISH AND CORN OIL! AND...OH MY BROKEN CLOCK! FUCKING SMELLS LIKE DIARRHEA SUSHI!
That's it, put this over a barrel and fuck it. Next car down here I co-
Oh good. You know what? Whatever. Who fucking needs lights?! I'm here, that fucking guy is over there...I just need to move away from the stink. God, that's sinister...people, the fuck out of my way...oh calm down you sissies...what's the matter, you never smelled the stomach contents of a New York homeless man before? Welcome to the party, tourists...
Yes. Of course. Brilliant. The door is locked. Yes. That's super awesome.
Oh...and our gallant conductor has more to add...
Uh...you have to say something, brainchild...
*sigh*
Good, at least we know the button works.
Ouch!
Feedback much, you fucking retard? Jesus, fucking pull the cock out of your mouth before you talk! Shit, you know, this is probably as intelligible as they get.
God, what the fuck are these idiot tourists screaming about now? Don't worry, they won't start the Lion King without you...why did I leave my fucking iPod at home?
Fucking Bill.
I am never going to Brooklyn again.